Post by Canada on Jul 6, 2010 21:40:08 GMT -6
Mattieu
ah.... desole.... D-dad....
England
............eh, it's fine.
Mattieu
*lowers face* Eh... w-would you care for some rosehip tea?
England
*sigh* Nah, not now... You need to relax, though.
Mattieu
*smiles* Eh? B-but I'm fine...
England
....Eh, if you say so.
Mattieu
*tilts head* Has... anything been bothering you recently? You... seem troubled or at least a bit worn....
England
*shakes head slightly, forcing a small smile* No... I'm just... old...
Mattieu
*smiles still a bit worried remembering the month of July was hard for England* Not that old... heh... After all you're still able to put pa-France in his place no? *hesitating at putting a hand on his former caretaker's shoulder adn ending up just fidling with his shirt*
England
*half-chuckles and looks up at him* Not as well as I used to, unfortunately...
Mattieu
*smiles* Don't say that- I'm sure you're as tough as you've always been...
England
.....heh. Just tougher than France. Not that /that/ says much.
Mattieu
*smiles nodding a little* I suppose, but he was an Empire as well...
England
Not a very large one... *murmurs absently* The sun never set on the British Empire... once upon a time.
Mattieu
.... *biting his lip* .....I'm.... sorry.... *worried and fidgeting* Would you like to go out to the garden? Don't your faeries enjoy the roses?
England
.....*zoned out a bit; blinks suddenly and looks at him* Eh? Oh... Right! Good idea ^^
Mattieu
*smiles and nervously reaches to take England's hand but stops and then turns to lead him out blushing* Follow me, the roses are at their best right now. *leads to garden of large blooming roses of all natural colors, red and white planted near and intertwining with white lillies, surrounded by well cared for tullips of mixed colors, some red roses and white lillies and tulips off to the side for forming a canadian flag*
England
*follows him out, wearing a very slight smile and crouching beside the flowers* They really are... You work hard to keep this garden as groomed as it is... *reaches out as though to touch one of the lilies delicately, but instead lets his hand settle on the stem of a rose before quietly pulling it away from the lily, separating the plants from each other* .....
Mattieu
*looking fondly at the intertwined flowers* Well wise men taught me to care for them.... and I always try to give them the love I feel for the people they are planted for... *smile fading a bit as the lily and rose are separated, shivering at the symbolism for England and France and the October Crisis* P-please.... please on't separate them... they are more beautiful together..... *hand raised to gently touch England but still unable to get himself to take the final action*
England
*flushes faintly, though he's still staring at the now-separate flowers, each seeming to him to be almost wilted without the other* ....maybe you're right.
Mattieu
*relaxing a little and stepping closer* They need each other to stand strong... and I love how they compliment each other... don't you?
England
Compliment each other, certainly, but they're both fine on their own... *not really thinking before he speaks right now, only half-aware of anything around him except the plants before him*
Mattieu
*flinching a bit and smile fades to a weak one* But look at them... their stalks... they are strong enough.... but.... *gently caresses the two separated flowers and the blooms flop over* without the support of the other, they need to be pruned... *eyes dimming a bit thinking of both England's issue and his own over roses and lilies*
England
........*shrugs noncommitally* That isn't always a bad thing... is it?
Mattieu
*a bit hurt* but... there was no benefit in the separation just injury... the entire garden and plant suffers for it.... -you suffer..... I suffer...- *pulling out a small knife and with the utmost care pruning off the rose and lilly with a apolegetic frown, cradling the two lovely blooms in his hands* They didn't need to be pruned.... *muttering to the flowers and garden quietly without thought* ...désolé....
England
*almost repeats the quiet apology before turning and walking a few steps away, jaw clenched and face set in a scowl as he quickly, roughly wipes the tears he didn't realize were gathering in his eyes* .....
Mattieu
*putting the knife away and turning to his second father* ......Arthur? ....why don't we cover them with wax? It will preserve them... and we can let them dry stem to stem, that way they won't be separated anymore.... and it'll mend them in a way? *hesitant smile, nervous he shouldn't have said anything*
7/5/2010 6:26:24 PM Mattieu England (if the fae are there Matt can see them he just acts like he doesn't cause England took him from France and as a child it was a way to get back at him... but since Al kept insisting they weren't there.... yeah)
England
......*looks back at him, staring at the flowers held so gently in Canada's hands; looks up to meet his former charge's eyes, smiling a slight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes* Sounds like a good idea...
Mattieu
*smile growing when a sparkle catches his eye toward the two flower, now rolled together stem-to-stem by a tiny beautiful and delicately winged friend from when he first was brought to England's New World home* ..... *a light blush dusted his cheeks as he recieved a wink from the creature he denied the ability to see and began to smile as the faerie seemed to be forgiving him at the moment* I... I think your friend agrees as well.... *unable to look at England*
England
... *steps closer, looking down at the faerie with a very slight smile, looking at how the tiny creature had wrapped herself around the stems* ....so she does... *stretches out a finger to gently, thoughtfully trace the edge of the lily's petal*
Mattieu
*smiling brighter offering the two flowers to England* Would you like to carry them in? I need to get the wax ready along with the wire... *happy england isn't quite noticing or on his case about seeing the fae* -maybe.... he knew?...-
England
*takes the blossoms delicately, watching as the fae in his hand fairly glared at him - after all, it was /his/ fault that two perfectly healthy blooms had been cut* Yeah... I'll take them... *looks up at Matt with a slight, apologetic smile*
Mattieu
Don't worry, we can still mend it.... they haven't been separated too long.... *choosing his words carefully* Soon they be good as new, just... different. *hurrys inside eagerly*
7/5/2010 6:59:40 PM Mattieu England (yup well.... he's had to make himself useful otherwise he feared he'd be abandonned... and well... he's strong.... and wants his family to be happy even if they end up forgetting him or it hurts him. Otherwise everything he goes through and went through... it would be worse. If he can't be happy, he at least wants his family to be happy)
England
*nods, following him towards the door, stopping long enough to shoo the faerie from the flower stems; as he steps inside, he still can't think about how they'll still end up dry, withered and dead, and eternally bound to each other, thorns digging into the lily's softer skin*
Mattieu
*happily warming a melting pot for the clear wax* Ah- you won't have to wait much longer, I'm just about to set up the wire drying rack. This wax is really good it seals very well.... *grins and gestures with his head ahoge bobbing in the direction of a rectangular plate with smooth and rough stones from his many rivers with a few waxed roses, a few wild flowers, a small daisy chain that would have fit a tiny child, and a tulip and lilly*
7/5/2010 7:11:03 PM Mattieu England (england gonna learn from Mattie~ btw he's referencing France and England first teaching him about flowers and then Netherlands.... and the caring for the flower as you care for the person... that's matt... since the closest thing to the person he had was their flower... ) (I have a feeling Matt probably hid in England's garden or hid and watched him there wanting that type of attention, but Al always getting in the way. Yeah same here~ <3)
England
*leans against the counter, not quite paying attention to Canada except to nod* Alright... That sounds good... *trying to find a way to position the two stems so that they both seem comfortable and unstrained, but can't seem to get it - one of them is always bent weirdly, or the thorns of the rose pricking the softer skin of the lily's stem* .......
Mattieu
*leaves the clear wax to melt to the right consistency and sets up a drip pan and a wire frame to help support the stems and petals for when the flowers are drying and wax hardening. glances at England and can't help but feel slightly jealous of the flowers with how they are being handled by his former caretaker, a soft bubbling warmth pushing for room and overtaking the jealousy as he notes how he tries to keep the thorns from the softer lily* I think if you lay them so the petal bases are even then it won't be an issue... and besides..... the Rose is more masculine... it's.... thorns piercing the lily... I think it's nice how they er.... unify... it's a similar symbolism of the masculine and feminine... *face as red as the rose now trying to ensure he won't stutter* it... the lily surrounding the rose to keep their connection..... eh? Ah-n-nevermind I'm being silly and sentimental. *turning to stir the almost perfect wax*
England
'*looks over at him, letting a slight smile cross his face* That's one way of looking at it... *does as suggested, still trying to keep from pricking either himself or the lily*
Mattieu
*smiling and seeing the wax is ready and gets a small metal rod with a trigger that opens and closes pincers on the end going to England and carefully taking the two flowers, and putting the pincer to clasp the green stems before carefully dipping them in the wax and then transfering them to the rack, going back to get a laddle to pour over what was covered by the pincers, making sure it is fully coated* There, now we just have to give them time to harden and they'll be back as they should... I hope you like them? *looking somewhat nervous* They are yours after all.... Your friends would want to see them... and I think it's best if you kept them... as.... a reminder. *smile wavering weakly as he blushes and turns to turn off the wax pot* -if not to remind you of how you and Papa should be.... then... maybe.... remember me... not Alfred...- *inferiority complex rising*
England
...... *gives him a very slight smile, putting a hand on his arm gently* Yeah... They'll be perfect... *still... depressed... and thinking way too much*
Mattieu
*freezing at the touch and fighting to keep from beaming. Finishing with the pot and turning it upside down for the wax to pour into the container for the wax. taking a quick peek at England, seeing he's still dwelling and impulsivley turning to give him a hug the way he remembered Al always doing when the former-empire would come to the New World for a visit* Eh-s-sorry I-I.... you just... *quickly releasing him as he realized what he's done and turning to try and find something to do but there is nothing since he'd scrubbed like mad once he found out the former parent might be in the area. Bright red and shakily avoiding eye contact and walking out to the garden to try and calm down* -Oh lord! Why did I do that? Now I'm probably reminding him of Alfred-then I left-Oh what an idiot!- *starting to mumble nervously brushing his hair out of his face, pacing the garden* no wonder he left-acting like-so stupid....reminding...idiot...probably mad...he's gonna leave for sure....letting my emotions get out of control like that? why?.... damnit...idiot... *shaking a bit making a mountain out of his paranoia, getting caught up in his own doubts and inferiority especially vulnerable thanks to it having been only a few days after the fourth*
England
*blinks, freezing as he was pulled out of his reverie by the sudden contact; looks over his shoulder at his 'son,' unused to that kind of attention from him, so a little... confused* ..... *watches him walk outside abruptly before glancing down at the flowers and following; frowns when he sees the almost frantic pacing, stopping in the doorway* ....Matt, what's wrong?
Mattieu
*looking up like a deer in headlights before blinking and getting his wits to him* Eh? Y-you're still here?
England
*tilts his head to the side slightly* ....well, where /should/ I be?
Mattieu
.... *blushing looking to the side trying to hide his trembling hands by crossing his arms* Eh... I-I don't ... with Alfred? I didn't think you were staying much longer..... *turning to exmine a tulip, using it as a distraction and means to occupy his hands*
England
*frowns slightly and steps outside, walking out to him* Well, if you /want/ me to leave, I can... *sees his trembling hands, but can't really say anything...*
Mattieu
*eyes widen, and turns grabbing onto his arm/sleeve like he wanted to when the Empire would leave, face reddening as pale lavendar meet emerald green* Non! *unable to keep looking the elder in the eyes for long and lowering his gaze, but not releasing the sleeve*
England
*watches the younger nation, slightly shocked* ......alright, calm down... *puts an arm around his shoulder* I'm not going anywhere.... *still unsure as to where this is coming from, but Mattieu obviously needed him right at the moment*
Mattieu
*not really expecting for the arm and blushing darker fighting to get a hold of his emotions* ....s-sorry... I'll... I'll get myself under control.... *still holding onto the other sleeve*
England
*shakes his head, rubbing Canada's arm slightly* You're alright, kid... Nothing to apologize for...
Mattieu
*lips shaking a little as he fights to keep a calm expression failing more as England acts like the father he'd been to him when he was just starting to behave as a colony* ........ *wanting to just turn and cling to him, but finding that small feeling that he shouldn't-isn't allowed to and just focuses on the comfort England is offering* ........... *wanting the attention but feeling that he should be focusing more on England letting out a small whisper* What.... did you fight with p-France about?....
England:
..... *says softly, staring at the flowers* We haven't fought, Matt... *redirects, looking down at his son with a slight smile* Besides,you don't need to be worrying about that now...
Mattieu
*frowning* but... why are you avoiding him? You are miserable... more than usual.... *avoiding the issue of himself and somewhat pleased at the concern* Did... something happen? *peeking up quickly before lowering his gaze, waiting for the british temper to flare*
England
*huffs slightly* I'm not avoiding him, and nothing happened. Now just... drop it... alright? It doesn't matter...
Mattieu
*frowning and shaking his head* ...n-nnghn..... no... you aren't.... yourself..... what happened? You both.... don't I deserve an explanation? *raising his eyes to peek through his hair at England*
England
*glancing down at him, eyes dull and almost vacant as he tries to decide the best way to explain that one of your parents is self-conscious and needy, while the other is just a whore* .....nothing happened. I agree that you deserve an explanation, just... not now.
Mattieu
....fine... *moving out of the grasp frowning and going to pet a tulip, deciding that England is placating him and will forget to talk to him later* ......when you came were you coming for Alfred?.... *trying to wrestle the irritation and jealousy out of his voice, while attempting to return to the typical passive smile he usually wears*
England
*lets him go without argument, going to the flowers as well, though he's studying how the lilies and roses grew together as they did* Have I done anything to suggest that I was coming to see your brother? *just getting slightly irritated at what Canada seems to be suggesting*
Mattieu
*keeping his voice a bit cooler than intended, sounding much like the angry little boy he acted like when England first got him from France* You have gotten lost more than one... -irritated at himself for saying these things but much like when Alfred gets him going, he can't seem to shut himself up.*
England
*scowls slightly, mostly to himself* Which means I /must/ have this time, of course. *glances over at him, concerned more than anything* Mind telling me where this is coming from, all at once?
Mattieu
*becoming very still* ......nowhere important... *refusing to look anywhere but the tullip. Confused at what has really gotten him this angry and why he's taking it out on England. Wanting to apologize* Maybe I;ll tell you later next time you visit... *blanching inside at how he's acting, especially when england is paying attention* -but... maybe if I keep this up, he'll spend time with me like he did with Alfred... He's certainly paying close eye now...-
7/6/2010 12:14:54 AM Mattieu England (hm... Mattie maybe you shouldn't copy al... you get mad when people mistake you for him... and so you act like him? *shakes head*)
7/6/2010 12:16:37 AM Mattieu England (yeah... doesn't want to act out but it's getting him attention and he freaked when he first acted like al with the hug.... and it got Endland to follow but it made him mad that by acting like al it made england pay attention... he's correlating all the attention to him being mistaken for al without really thinking....)
England
....*turns back to the flowers for a long moment* ....alright, Matt. If that's what you want... *lapses into silence, trying to backtrack and figure out where the turn in Canada's behavior came from*
Mattieu
.... *frowning having expected some type of scolding by now* -....maybe it isn't worth his effort to correct me...- *starting to scowl at his garden, glareing at a spot of moist earth he had planned to plant a combination of marigolds and golden roses around an oak sapling* -...even now.... I guess noone can top him for England's attention....- *lets out a slight growl unconsciously, hands
clenching to fists*
England says:
*turns to him upon hearing the growl, standing fully and walking over to him* Alright, what's going on? Something's got you upset, and you're going to tell me what.
Mattieu says:
*snapping back voice cold* Nothing is wrong England. *glareing at the earth* I'm perfectly fine, you're the one upset over a rose and lilly even touching..... *blinks freezing a moment before his eyes widen in realization and turn to the other deeply regret flooding his face* Ah-I-I... I'm s-sorry I di-didn't m-mean to-I.... *stuttering nervously like when he was first learning English as a boy* I
I... They we-were c-cr-cruel f-forgive m-m-me? *fidgeting eyes falling to the shiny proper shoes England never failed to wear*
England says:
.... *puts himself in Canada's line of vision, trying to force eye contact* Listen. I over-reacted. I'm sorry. You've got nothing to apologize for. Now tell me why you're so upset.
Mattieu says:
*tensing back slightly and hesitantly meeting England's eyes* .....I... I'm not upset..... not ... not really... s-sorry... *unable to break eye contact, feeling like the kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, no way to deny it*
England says:
... *lets his expression soften slightly, relaxing with a slight sigh* ...I know you better than that, Mattieu... I know I haven't exactly been parent-of-the-year material, but... talk to me.
Mattieu says:
*blushing and biting his lip, staying silent for a few minutes face getting hotter and hotter as he keeps his silence, bottom lip starting to feel sore and not noticing he'd biten it hard enough to draw a pinprick of blood. Eyes stinging a bit while his throat tightens making the eventual words whispered a bit cracked* I.... it's not your fault.... I'm just... I can't be Alfred...
England says:
*says nothing for a long, contemplative moment, staring up into almost pained violet eyes* .... *wraps his arms around his son's shoulders with a slight sigh* And no one is asking you to...
Mattieu says:
Then why don't they.... remember me? Or mistake me for him if they don't want another Alfred...... I don't want to be invisible anymore... if any day... especially not that one...... No matter what I do Alfred... he just ruins it or maybe I'm just so.... I'm the second largest country I shouldn't-........ nobody cares.... *whimpering and struggling to keep a few of the tears back, beet red as he
scrubs at his face with a forarm* It's not right-nothing is...
England says:
*just stays there like that for a moment, thinking, trying to choose his words carefully* .....you're right. Nothing's right, and it sucks. But we're all just doing the best we can, Matt... *pulls away and smiles crookedly at him* That's all anyone can do...
Mattieu says:
*frowning and kicking himself for crying in front of England* .... but.... n-no... no you're r-right.... I... just need to get used to it.... S-s-sorry for eh-m-my beh-havior.... *voice going dull and quieter, figuring England is more telling him to keep a stiff upper lip* I'll.... I'll be fine just let... me get back under control....
England says:
*shakes his head slightly, honestly glad that Canada is at least talking to him, but... well, progress, right?* That's not what I'm saying... *tilts his head slightly* You really should just let it out, though. Keeping stuff in like that isn't good for anyone. Never got me anywhere.
Mattieu says:
*rubbing at his face still trying to put the upset away* Y-you?... You... you still do.... I.... I can't.... if I .... they'll notice and... tease..... *sniffling-hiccupping*
England says:
*snorts slightly, automatically* To hell with 'em. You do what you have to do. If that's crying, then cry. Or buy a punching bag. Do something. If it really bothers you, just... hold it in until you get home, or something. But let it out.
Mattieu says:
*eyes water again and starts shaking trying to keep it in for a moment before turning his face* It w-wont.... h-help... It won't change any-t-thing... Nobody's going to care whether I do or d-don't....
England says:
.... *says bluntly, simply because he doesn't know another way to put it* I'm going to care.
Mattieu says:
*frowning and shaking his head petulantly hissing out the words* ..........you won't........... you'll go home and fuck Papa, fight, fuck and fight, argue with Alfred, and just forget........................................................................................... the sad thing is I don't mind it... *sniffling and starting to get his breathing under control, crossing his arms in a semi-
self hug*
England says:
............................... *looks down, mentally cursing himself, because he can't say that he's ever done anything to make his former colony think any different* ..........'m sorry. *still mentally berating himself for not being able to say anything else*
Mattieu says:
*hugging himself tighter fingers digging into his arms* D-don't worry.... It's my fault... You're... busy... and I am... I am boring....
England says:
*clenches his own fists, biting harshly on the inside of his cheek; he really couldn't do ANYTHING right, could he? He did nothing but hurt everyone he'd ever had anything to do with, so of course he was just making things worse here* .....no... You haven't done anything wrong... ever... I have...
Mattieu says:
*shaking his head* N-non... you... you... you remembered... You were... You at least remembered the first... Only... Alfred has... not even France.... *a frail smile growing* Th-thank you... for that... it... it means a lot... and... I know you're probably blaming but please don't? I don't want to see you or anyone else unhappy.... But especially not you... *wiping his face*
England says:
*watches him quietly for a long moment, thinking, and somehow feeling more guilty than ever at the other nation's understand and forgiveness and (in his opinion) misplaced concern* ........ *forces a slight smile* Well... I'm glad that me remembering your birthday was.. something, at least...
Mattieu says:
*nods slowly biting his lip looking down* -he's not going to hug you... remember he's British... but....- *tensing slightly before timidly hugging England* .............. i-is....this.....okay? I know you don't.... really like it when France.... *nerves get the best of him and he starts to release crying quietly* I...
England:
....... *puts his arms around Canada, holding him with only the briefest hesitation; was honestly never really sure if this was alright with the younger nation, but apparently, he should've taken the initiative to find out; says softly, smiling mostly to himself and rubbing the other's back soothingly* Of course this is okay... Just relax... alright?
Mattieu says:
*nods, sniffling becoming a bit louder as he finally lets himself cry, hiding his face in England's shoulder, hands gripping his shirt*
England says:
*just holds him like that, rubbing small circles on his back; if all he can do is be a literal shoulder to cry on right now, then he'll stay just like this for as long as necessary*
Mattieu says:
*after at least twenty minutes of crying, starts to calm down a lot more relaxed, head feeling light and eyes and throat sore* ..... s-sorry..... I got you all wet....
England says:
*looks down at him, a patient expression on his face* ....eh, don't be. I'll dry... Feel any better...?
Mattieu says:
*smiles tiredly and nods face still resting on England's shoulder* y-yeah.... thank you.... Dad...
England says:
..... *hugs him tighter briefly* Least I could do, kid...
Mattieu says:
*closing his eyes trying to memorize the moment in it's entirity before slowly opening them and stepping back from the hug, a small tired smile growing as he gratefully looks at England's eyes and takes his hand delicately* C'mon, the flowers should be ready now I think....
England says:
*lets him go reluctantly, but nods and smiles slightly, heading towards the door with their hands clasped affectionately, if slightly awkwardly* Right... I'd almost forgotten... *lies, all lies*
Mattieu says:
*smiles happy that England's letting him hold his hand, knowing he never lets Alfred or France do so and leads him to the kitchen a light happiness at having this moment with England who he can trust to keep it private* It's good we weren't cooking eh? Speaking of.... would you like anything? I'm not keeping you am I?
England says:
*flinches internally at the cooking comment, but doesn't argue - after all, it's true; tries to just relax and enjoy this, because he really doesn't get to spend as much real time with his former colonies as he would like, though he'd never just out and say it* Ah.. No, I'm alright. If you're making something anyways, though...
Mattieu says:
I was thinking... maybe... you could help me make scones? *certain that it will at least keep England's attention on him a little longer till he forgets. leadis into the kitchen and smiles as he sees the now sealed rose and lily* Ah look, they're gorgeous together, no? *giving the hand he's hold a small squeeze before releasing it*
England says:
*gives a slight grin* Making scones sounds like a wonderful idea... *looks down at the flowers, feeling a sudden, uninvited stab of melancholy, though he manages to keep some kind of smile* ....yeah...
Mattieu says:
*goes to gently lift the flowers and put them with the other waxed flowers for safekeeping and goes to get mixing equipment and what he remembers England using to make the scones* Do I have everything? *rather excited to be doing a project together like Alfred and Arthur did such as hunting*
TO BE CONTINUED
ah.... desole.... D-dad....
England
............eh, it's fine.
Mattieu
*lowers face* Eh... w-would you care for some rosehip tea?
England
*sigh* Nah, not now... You need to relax, though.
Mattieu
*smiles* Eh? B-but I'm fine...
England
....Eh, if you say so.
Mattieu
*tilts head* Has... anything been bothering you recently? You... seem troubled or at least a bit worn....
England
*shakes head slightly, forcing a small smile* No... I'm just... old...
Mattieu
*smiles still a bit worried remembering the month of July was hard for England* Not that old... heh... After all you're still able to put pa-France in his place no? *hesitating at putting a hand on his former caretaker's shoulder adn ending up just fidling with his shirt*
England
*half-chuckles and looks up at him* Not as well as I used to, unfortunately...
Mattieu
*smiles* Don't say that- I'm sure you're as tough as you've always been...
England
.....heh. Just tougher than France. Not that /that/ says much.
Mattieu
*smiles nodding a little* I suppose, but he was an Empire as well...
England
Not a very large one... *murmurs absently* The sun never set on the British Empire... once upon a time.
Mattieu
.... *biting his lip* .....I'm.... sorry.... *worried and fidgeting* Would you like to go out to the garden? Don't your faeries enjoy the roses?
England
.....*zoned out a bit; blinks suddenly and looks at him* Eh? Oh... Right! Good idea ^^
Mattieu
*smiles and nervously reaches to take England's hand but stops and then turns to lead him out blushing* Follow me, the roses are at their best right now. *leads to garden of large blooming roses of all natural colors, red and white planted near and intertwining with white lillies, surrounded by well cared for tullips of mixed colors, some red roses and white lillies and tulips off to the side for forming a canadian flag*
England
*follows him out, wearing a very slight smile and crouching beside the flowers* They really are... You work hard to keep this garden as groomed as it is... *reaches out as though to touch one of the lilies delicately, but instead lets his hand settle on the stem of a rose before quietly pulling it away from the lily, separating the plants from each other* .....
Mattieu
*looking fondly at the intertwined flowers* Well wise men taught me to care for them.... and I always try to give them the love I feel for the people they are planted for... *smile fading a bit as the lily and rose are separated, shivering at the symbolism for England and France and the October Crisis* P-please.... please on't separate them... they are more beautiful together..... *hand raised to gently touch England but still unable to get himself to take the final action*
England
*flushes faintly, though he's still staring at the now-separate flowers, each seeming to him to be almost wilted without the other* ....maybe you're right.
Mattieu
*relaxing a little and stepping closer* They need each other to stand strong... and I love how they compliment each other... don't you?
England
Compliment each other, certainly, but they're both fine on their own... *not really thinking before he speaks right now, only half-aware of anything around him except the plants before him*
Mattieu
*flinching a bit and smile fades to a weak one* But look at them... their stalks... they are strong enough.... but.... *gently caresses the two separated flowers and the blooms flop over* without the support of the other, they need to be pruned... *eyes dimming a bit thinking of both England's issue and his own over roses and lilies*
England
........*shrugs noncommitally* That isn't always a bad thing... is it?
Mattieu
*a bit hurt* but... there was no benefit in the separation just injury... the entire garden and plant suffers for it.... -you suffer..... I suffer...- *pulling out a small knife and with the utmost care pruning off the rose and lilly with a apolegetic frown, cradling the two lovely blooms in his hands* They didn't need to be pruned.... *muttering to the flowers and garden quietly without thought* ...désolé....
England
*almost repeats the quiet apology before turning and walking a few steps away, jaw clenched and face set in a scowl as he quickly, roughly wipes the tears he didn't realize were gathering in his eyes* .....
Mattieu
*putting the knife away and turning to his second father* ......Arthur? ....why don't we cover them with wax? It will preserve them... and we can let them dry stem to stem, that way they won't be separated anymore.... and it'll mend them in a way? *hesitant smile, nervous he shouldn't have said anything*
7/5/2010 6:26:24 PM Mattieu England (if the fae are there Matt can see them he just acts like he doesn't cause England took him from France and as a child it was a way to get back at him... but since Al kept insisting they weren't there.... yeah)
England
......*looks back at him, staring at the flowers held so gently in Canada's hands; looks up to meet his former charge's eyes, smiling a slight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes* Sounds like a good idea...
Mattieu
*smile growing when a sparkle catches his eye toward the two flower, now rolled together stem-to-stem by a tiny beautiful and delicately winged friend from when he first was brought to England's New World home* ..... *a light blush dusted his cheeks as he recieved a wink from the creature he denied the ability to see and began to smile as the faerie seemed to be forgiving him at the moment* I... I think your friend agrees as well.... *unable to look at England*
England
... *steps closer, looking down at the faerie with a very slight smile, looking at how the tiny creature had wrapped herself around the stems* ....so she does... *stretches out a finger to gently, thoughtfully trace the edge of the lily's petal*
Mattieu
*smiling brighter offering the two flowers to England* Would you like to carry them in? I need to get the wax ready along with the wire... *happy england isn't quite noticing or on his case about seeing the fae* -maybe.... he knew?...-
England
*takes the blossoms delicately, watching as the fae in his hand fairly glared at him - after all, it was /his/ fault that two perfectly healthy blooms had been cut* Yeah... I'll take them... *looks up at Matt with a slight, apologetic smile*
Mattieu
Don't worry, we can still mend it.... they haven't been separated too long.... *choosing his words carefully* Soon they be good as new, just... different. *hurrys inside eagerly*
7/5/2010 6:59:40 PM Mattieu England (yup well.... he's had to make himself useful otherwise he feared he'd be abandonned... and well... he's strong.... and wants his family to be happy even if they end up forgetting him or it hurts him. Otherwise everything he goes through and went through... it would be worse. If he can't be happy, he at least wants his family to be happy)
England
*nods, following him towards the door, stopping long enough to shoo the faerie from the flower stems; as he steps inside, he still can't think about how they'll still end up dry, withered and dead, and eternally bound to each other, thorns digging into the lily's softer skin*
Mattieu
*happily warming a melting pot for the clear wax* Ah- you won't have to wait much longer, I'm just about to set up the wire drying rack. This wax is really good it seals very well.... *grins and gestures with his head ahoge bobbing in the direction of a rectangular plate with smooth and rough stones from his many rivers with a few waxed roses, a few wild flowers, a small daisy chain that would have fit a tiny child, and a tulip and lilly*
7/5/2010 7:11:03 PM Mattieu England (england gonna learn from Mattie~ btw he's referencing France and England first teaching him about flowers and then Netherlands.... and the caring for the flower as you care for the person... that's matt... since the closest thing to the person he had was their flower... ) (I have a feeling Matt probably hid in England's garden or hid and watched him there wanting that type of attention, but Al always getting in the way. Yeah same here~ <3)
England
*leans against the counter, not quite paying attention to Canada except to nod* Alright... That sounds good... *trying to find a way to position the two stems so that they both seem comfortable and unstrained, but can't seem to get it - one of them is always bent weirdly, or the thorns of the rose pricking the softer skin of the lily's stem* .......
Mattieu
*leaves the clear wax to melt to the right consistency and sets up a drip pan and a wire frame to help support the stems and petals for when the flowers are drying and wax hardening. glances at England and can't help but feel slightly jealous of the flowers with how they are being handled by his former caretaker, a soft bubbling warmth pushing for room and overtaking the jealousy as he notes how he tries to keep the thorns from the softer lily* I think if you lay them so the petal bases are even then it won't be an issue... and besides..... the Rose is more masculine... it's.... thorns piercing the lily... I think it's nice how they er.... unify... it's a similar symbolism of the masculine and feminine... *face as red as the rose now trying to ensure he won't stutter* it... the lily surrounding the rose to keep their connection..... eh? Ah-n-nevermind I'm being silly and sentimental. *turning to stir the almost perfect wax*
England
'*looks over at him, letting a slight smile cross his face* That's one way of looking at it... *does as suggested, still trying to keep from pricking either himself or the lily*
Mattieu
*smiling and seeing the wax is ready and gets a small metal rod with a trigger that opens and closes pincers on the end going to England and carefully taking the two flowers, and putting the pincer to clasp the green stems before carefully dipping them in the wax and then transfering them to the rack, going back to get a laddle to pour over what was covered by the pincers, making sure it is fully coated* There, now we just have to give them time to harden and they'll be back as they should... I hope you like them? *looking somewhat nervous* They are yours after all.... Your friends would want to see them... and I think it's best if you kept them... as.... a reminder. *smile wavering weakly as he blushes and turns to turn off the wax pot* -if not to remind you of how you and Papa should be.... then... maybe.... remember me... not Alfred...- *inferiority complex rising*
England
...... *gives him a very slight smile, putting a hand on his arm gently* Yeah... They'll be perfect... *still... depressed... and thinking way too much*
Mattieu
*freezing at the touch and fighting to keep from beaming. Finishing with the pot and turning it upside down for the wax to pour into the container for the wax. taking a quick peek at England, seeing he's still dwelling and impulsivley turning to give him a hug the way he remembered Al always doing when the former-empire would come to the New World for a visit* Eh-s-sorry I-I.... you just... *quickly releasing him as he realized what he's done and turning to try and find something to do but there is nothing since he'd scrubbed like mad once he found out the former parent might be in the area. Bright red and shakily avoiding eye contact and walking out to the garden to try and calm down* -Oh lord! Why did I do that? Now I'm probably reminding him of Alfred-then I left-Oh what an idiot!- *starting to mumble nervously brushing his hair out of his face, pacing the garden* no wonder he left-acting like-so stupid....reminding...idiot...probably mad...he's gonna leave for sure....letting my emotions get out of control like that? why?.... damnit...idiot... *shaking a bit making a mountain out of his paranoia, getting caught up in his own doubts and inferiority especially vulnerable thanks to it having been only a few days after the fourth*
England
*blinks, freezing as he was pulled out of his reverie by the sudden contact; looks over his shoulder at his 'son,' unused to that kind of attention from him, so a little... confused* ..... *watches him walk outside abruptly before glancing down at the flowers and following; frowns when he sees the almost frantic pacing, stopping in the doorway* ....Matt, what's wrong?
Mattieu
*looking up like a deer in headlights before blinking and getting his wits to him* Eh? Y-you're still here?
England
*tilts his head to the side slightly* ....well, where /should/ I be?
Mattieu
.... *blushing looking to the side trying to hide his trembling hands by crossing his arms* Eh... I-I don't ... with Alfred? I didn't think you were staying much longer..... *turning to exmine a tulip, using it as a distraction and means to occupy his hands*
England
*frowns slightly and steps outside, walking out to him* Well, if you /want/ me to leave, I can... *sees his trembling hands, but can't really say anything...*
Mattieu
*eyes widen, and turns grabbing onto his arm/sleeve like he wanted to when the Empire would leave, face reddening as pale lavendar meet emerald green* Non! *unable to keep looking the elder in the eyes for long and lowering his gaze, but not releasing the sleeve*
England
*watches the younger nation, slightly shocked* ......alright, calm down... *puts an arm around his shoulder* I'm not going anywhere.... *still unsure as to where this is coming from, but Mattieu obviously needed him right at the moment*
Mattieu
*not really expecting for the arm and blushing darker fighting to get a hold of his emotions* ....s-sorry... I'll... I'll get myself under control.... *still holding onto the other sleeve*
England
*shakes his head, rubbing Canada's arm slightly* You're alright, kid... Nothing to apologize for...
Mattieu
*lips shaking a little as he fights to keep a calm expression failing more as England acts like the father he'd been to him when he was just starting to behave as a colony* ........ *wanting to just turn and cling to him, but finding that small feeling that he shouldn't-isn't allowed to and just focuses on the comfort England is offering* ........... *wanting the attention but feeling that he should be focusing more on England letting out a small whisper* What.... did you fight with p-France about?....
England:
..... *says softly, staring at the flowers* We haven't fought, Matt... *redirects, looking down at his son with a slight smile* Besides,you don't need to be worrying about that now...
Mattieu
*frowning* but... why are you avoiding him? You are miserable... more than usual.... *avoiding the issue of himself and somewhat pleased at the concern* Did... something happen? *peeking up quickly before lowering his gaze, waiting for the british temper to flare*
England
*huffs slightly* I'm not avoiding him, and nothing happened. Now just... drop it... alright? It doesn't matter...
Mattieu
*frowning and shaking his head* ...n-nnghn..... no... you aren't.... yourself..... what happened? You both.... don't I deserve an explanation? *raising his eyes to peek through his hair at England*
England
*glancing down at him, eyes dull and almost vacant as he tries to decide the best way to explain that one of your parents is self-conscious and needy, while the other is just a whore* .....nothing happened. I agree that you deserve an explanation, just... not now.
Mattieu
....fine... *moving out of the grasp frowning and going to pet a tulip, deciding that England is placating him and will forget to talk to him later* ......when you came were you coming for Alfred?.... *trying to wrestle the irritation and jealousy out of his voice, while attempting to return to the typical passive smile he usually wears*
England
*lets him go without argument, going to the flowers as well, though he's studying how the lilies and roses grew together as they did* Have I done anything to suggest that I was coming to see your brother? *just getting slightly irritated at what Canada seems to be suggesting*
Mattieu
*keeping his voice a bit cooler than intended, sounding much like the angry little boy he acted like when England first got him from France* You have gotten lost more than one... -irritated at himself for saying these things but much like when Alfred gets him going, he can't seem to shut himself up.*
England
*scowls slightly, mostly to himself* Which means I /must/ have this time, of course. *glances over at him, concerned more than anything* Mind telling me where this is coming from, all at once?
Mattieu
*becoming very still* ......nowhere important... *refusing to look anywhere but the tullip. Confused at what has really gotten him this angry and why he's taking it out on England. Wanting to apologize* Maybe I;ll tell you later next time you visit... *blanching inside at how he's acting, especially when england is paying attention* -but... maybe if I keep this up, he'll spend time with me like he did with Alfred... He's certainly paying close eye now...-
7/6/2010 12:14:54 AM Mattieu England (hm... Mattie maybe you shouldn't copy al... you get mad when people mistake you for him... and so you act like him? *shakes head*)
7/6/2010 12:16:37 AM Mattieu England (yeah... doesn't want to act out but it's getting him attention and he freaked when he first acted like al with the hug.... and it got Endland to follow but it made him mad that by acting like al it made england pay attention... he's correlating all the attention to him being mistaken for al without really thinking....)
England
....*turns back to the flowers for a long moment* ....alright, Matt. If that's what you want... *lapses into silence, trying to backtrack and figure out where the turn in Canada's behavior came from*
Mattieu
.... *frowning having expected some type of scolding by now* -....maybe it isn't worth his effort to correct me...- *starting to scowl at his garden, glareing at a spot of moist earth he had planned to plant a combination of marigolds and golden roses around an oak sapling* -...even now.... I guess noone can top him for England's attention....- *lets out a slight growl unconsciously, hands
clenching to fists*
England says:
*turns to him upon hearing the growl, standing fully and walking over to him* Alright, what's going on? Something's got you upset, and you're going to tell me what.
Mattieu says:
*snapping back voice cold* Nothing is wrong England. *glareing at the earth* I'm perfectly fine, you're the one upset over a rose and lilly even touching..... *blinks freezing a moment before his eyes widen in realization and turn to the other deeply regret flooding his face* Ah-I-I... I'm s-sorry I di-didn't m-mean to-I.... *stuttering nervously like when he was first learning English as a boy* I
I... They we-were c-cr-cruel f-forgive m-m-me? *fidgeting eyes falling to the shiny proper shoes England never failed to wear*
England says:
.... *puts himself in Canada's line of vision, trying to force eye contact* Listen. I over-reacted. I'm sorry. You've got nothing to apologize for. Now tell me why you're so upset.
Mattieu says:
*tensing back slightly and hesitantly meeting England's eyes* .....I... I'm not upset..... not ... not really... s-sorry... *unable to break eye contact, feeling like the kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, no way to deny it*
England says:
... *lets his expression soften slightly, relaxing with a slight sigh* ...I know you better than that, Mattieu... I know I haven't exactly been parent-of-the-year material, but... talk to me.
Mattieu says:
*blushing and biting his lip, staying silent for a few minutes face getting hotter and hotter as he keeps his silence, bottom lip starting to feel sore and not noticing he'd biten it hard enough to draw a pinprick of blood. Eyes stinging a bit while his throat tightens making the eventual words whispered a bit cracked* I.... it's not your fault.... I'm just... I can't be Alfred...
England says:
*says nothing for a long, contemplative moment, staring up into almost pained violet eyes* .... *wraps his arms around his son's shoulders with a slight sigh* And no one is asking you to...
Mattieu says:
Then why don't they.... remember me? Or mistake me for him if they don't want another Alfred...... I don't want to be invisible anymore... if any day... especially not that one...... No matter what I do Alfred... he just ruins it or maybe I'm just so.... I'm the second largest country I shouldn't-........ nobody cares.... *whimpering and struggling to keep a few of the tears back, beet red as he
scrubs at his face with a forarm* It's not right-nothing is...
England says:
*just stays there like that for a moment, thinking, trying to choose his words carefully* .....you're right. Nothing's right, and it sucks. But we're all just doing the best we can, Matt... *pulls away and smiles crookedly at him* That's all anyone can do...
Mattieu says:
*frowning and kicking himself for crying in front of England* .... but.... n-no... no you're r-right.... I... just need to get used to it.... S-s-sorry for eh-m-my beh-havior.... *voice going dull and quieter, figuring England is more telling him to keep a stiff upper lip* I'll.... I'll be fine just let... me get back under control....
England says:
*shakes his head slightly, honestly glad that Canada is at least talking to him, but... well, progress, right?* That's not what I'm saying... *tilts his head slightly* You really should just let it out, though. Keeping stuff in like that isn't good for anyone. Never got me anywhere.
Mattieu says:
*rubbing at his face still trying to put the upset away* Y-you?... You... you still do.... I.... I can't.... if I .... they'll notice and... tease..... *sniffling-hiccupping*
England says:
*snorts slightly, automatically* To hell with 'em. You do what you have to do. If that's crying, then cry. Or buy a punching bag. Do something. If it really bothers you, just... hold it in until you get home, or something. But let it out.
Mattieu says:
*eyes water again and starts shaking trying to keep it in for a moment before turning his face* It w-wont.... h-help... It won't change any-t-thing... Nobody's going to care whether I do or d-don't....
England says:
.... *says bluntly, simply because he doesn't know another way to put it* I'm going to care.
Mattieu says:
*frowning and shaking his head petulantly hissing out the words* ..........you won't........... you'll go home and fuck Papa, fight, fuck and fight, argue with Alfred, and just forget........................................................................................... the sad thing is I don't mind it... *sniffling and starting to get his breathing under control, crossing his arms in a semi-
self hug*
England says:
............................... *looks down, mentally cursing himself, because he can't say that he's ever done anything to make his former colony think any different* ..........'m sorry. *still mentally berating himself for not being able to say anything else*
Mattieu says:
*hugging himself tighter fingers digging into his arms* D-don't worry.... It's my fault... You're... busy... and I am... I am boring....
England says:
*clenches his own fists, biting harshly on the inside of his cheek; he really couldn't do ANYTHING right, could he? He did nothing but hurt everyone he'd ever had anything to do with, so of course he was just making things worse here* .....no... You haven't done anything wrong... ever... I have...
Mattieu says:
*shaking his head* N-non... you... you... you remembered... You were... You at least remembered the first... Only... Alfred has... not even France.... *a frail smile growing* Th-thank you... for that... it... it means a lot... and... I know you're probably blaming but please don't? I don't want to see you or anyone else unhappy.... But especially not you... *wiping his face*
England says:
*watches him quietly for a long moment, thinking, and somehow feeling more guilty than ever at the other nation's understand and forgiveness and (in his opinion) misplaced concern* ........ *forces a slight smile* Well... I'm glad that me remembering your birthday was.. something, at least...
Mattieu says:
*nods slowly biting his lip looking down* -he's not going to hug you... remember he's British... but....- *tensing slightly before timidly hugging England* .............. i-is....this.....okay? I know you don't.... really like it when France.... *nerves get the best of him and he starts to release crying quietly* I...
England:
....... *puts his arms around Canada, holding him with only the briefest hesitation; was honestly never really sure if this was alright with the younger nation, but apparently, he should've taken the initiative to find out; says softly, smiling mostly to himself and rubbing the other's back soothingly* Of course this is okay... Just relax... alright?
Mattieu says:
*nods, sniffling becoming a bit louder as he finally lets himself cry, hiding his face in England's shoulder, hands gripping his shirt*
England says:
*just holds him like that, rubbing small circles on his back; if all he can do is be a literal shoulder to cry on right now, then he'll stay just like this for as long as necessary*
Mattieu says:
*after at least twenty minutes of crying, starts to calm down a lot more relaxed, head feeling light and eyes and throat sore* ..... s-sorry..... I got you all wet....
England says:
*looks down at him, a patient expression on his face* ....eh, don't be. I'll dry... Feel any better...?
Mattieu says:
*smiles tiredly and nods face still resting on England's shoulder* y-yeah.... thank you.... Dad...
England says:
..... *hugs him tighter briefly* Least I could do, kid...
Mattieu says:
*closing his eyes trying to memorize the moment in it's entirity before slowly opening them and stepping back from the hug, a small tired smile growing as he gratefully looks at England's eyes and takes his hand delicately* C'mon, the flowers should be ready now I think....
England says:
*lets him go reluctantly, but nods and smiles slightly, heading towards the door with their hands clasped affectionately, if slightly awkwardly* Right... I'd almost forgotten... *lies, all lies*
Mattieu says:
*smiles happy that England's letting him hold his hand, knowing he never lets Alfred or France do so and leads him to the kitchen a light happiness at having this moment with England who he can trust to keep it private* It's good we weren't cooking eh? Speaking of.... would you like anything? I'm not keeping you am I?
England says:
*flinches internally at the cooking comment, but doesn't argue - after all, it's true; tries to just relax and enjoy this, because he really doesn't get to spend as much real time with his former colonies as he would like, though he'd never just out and say it* Ah.. No, I'm alright. If you're making something anyways, though...
Mattieu says:
I was thinking... maybe... you could help me make scones? *certain that it will at least keep England's attention on him a little longer till he forgets. leadis into the kitchen and smiles as he sees the now sealed rose and lily* Ah look, they're gorgeous together, no? *giving the hand he's hold a small squeeze before releasing it*
England says:
*gives a slight grin* Making scones sounds like a wonderful idea... *looks down at the flowers, feeling a sudden, uninvited stab of melancholy, though he manages to keep some kind of smile* ....yeah...
Mattieu says:
*goes to gently lift the flowers and put them with the other waxed flowers for safekeeping and goes to get mixing equipment and what he remembers England using to make the scones* Do I have everything? *rather excited to be doing a project together like Alfred and Arthur did such as hunting*
TO BE CONTINUED
