I'm Moving On

[Texas]

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The cold air gave way to a burning pain. It shot through her left side and she crumpled over, giving out a cry of pain. It was unnerving, this burning that she felt spreading throughout her entire body. She had never felt such pain before and it was scaring her. She felt tears forming in her eyes and she forced herself to blink them back, her vision becoming blurred.

Voices could be heard around her, the voices of men, with tones that sounded as if they were worried. Before she knew it, she was hoisted into someone’s arms, the scent of musky flesh, but it was comforting in this time that she needed and she clung to this, forcing herself to stay awake, the pain still eating at her.

Soon, the pain gave way to another feeling, and the comforting scent and body was lost to her as the smell of burning flesh reached her nostrils. The steady movement of being carried was gone and her eyes snapped open when the sound of crackling fire was heard. All at once, she was hit with what the pain was, they had lost, the Alamo had fallen and she could do nothing to help them. She stood, helplessly in the field, watching as the men who had not yet died were executed, then their bodies thrown onto large fires.

A scream shattered the silence of the area as she sank to her knees, tears streaming down her face. This anguish, this pain, it was all caused because of him, and she could not, would not forget it.

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

Laughter was heard throughout the range as a small group of children ran in from the fields, their clothes and faces covered with dust and dirt. Two girls wore dresses while the two boys wore a cotton shirt and breeches, though a third girl, with dirty blonde hair ran behind them dressed in the same clothing as the boys. Any dress that had been placed upon her had been torn off and discarded before she ran off to dress in something she felt was more fitting.

The other children ran into the house, but the girl paused, her eyes moving to a figure who was sitting solemnly on the ground, his eyes staring down at the ground. Her head tilted as she watched him before she moved forward and then crouched down so that she could try to at least get him to look at her. What she saw, made her begin to worry and she placed a hand onto his shoulder. ” Hermano de México, ¿necesitas algo? Usted está herido.”

At her touch, the man shifted and lifted his head, his brown eyes looking at her and a soft, yet forced smile came onto his features as he placed his hand onto her head, gently ruffling the blonde tendrils of hair. “No te preocupes, Tejas. Todo va a estar bien, correr junto con los demás.” She stared at him, showing she didn’t really want to leave, but a look he gave her told her she shouldn’t argue with him. She nodded and leaned in, gently kissing his cheek softly before moving to go into the house. ”Bien hermano. Si necesitas algo ...” He nodded his head, though he didn’t move anymore after she had gone into the house. She paused, standing just inside the house as she stared off into space, biting her lip, not liking not being able to do anything.

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

Tears had leaked from her eyes and she slowly opened them, staring still out on the horizon. Things had been terrible during the revolution, so much so that she had forgotten all the things that he had ever done for her. She wondered how she could have easily forgotten his kindness, the way he had protected her and her siblings. He had been a big brother then, and some either viewed him as that or as a father, but to Texas, he had been an enemy, someone who constantly tried to invade her and take her back when all she wanted was freedom.

She had known that she had needed her own independence, there were not enough Mexicans within her borders to go against the American’s when they wished to leave, but she had never wanted to fight against him, the man who she had always looked up to, the one she had always believed in, until that day. That day that she had won her independence with the help of America, she remembered how Mexico seemed to small and insignificant then, no longer the man she had grown up respecting. Instead, her eyes moved to the man she owed her very independence too, who called himself a hero, and she discarded the other, as if he was just a toy no longer able to entertain her.

Her fists clenched as she realized this, and she hated herself for it. All these years that she had an animosity against Mexico, perhaps it was more because the others in the country were angered against the constant flow of immigrants into the country, though was this country not built upon immigrants? She understood why illegal immigrants needed to be stopped, but she did not see that as a reason she should hate him, he had no control over his people, and she did miss his company.

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

Slowly, she knelt down and gently touched the dirt underneath her. Some of the tears from earlier had fallen from her face and onto the ground, but she didn’t pay them any attention. She was staring at the ground before her eyes slowly closed as if she was in some sort of prayer.

” Perdóname, Diego, he culpado erróneamente que, de todos estos años.”

These words were spoken softly as she was kneeling and when she finished, she straightened up, dusting her hands off on her jeans before she turned around and moved back to the paddock. She was hoping that with this new found knowledge, these memories that had been once again unearthed, things would slowly change. She knew nothing could go back to what it use to, her feelings towards Mexico were no longer that of a sister towards a brother. But she did not want to hate him over something that happened so long ago. All of the men who had fought in that, all of the men she knew, would have told her to let it go, it was burdening her, and they had always seemed to know what was best for her.

A soft smile slipped onto her lips as she draped her duster over her arm and then, began the walk back in from the fields to the house. A trace of the young girl who had once been, easily seen in the blue eyes as they twinkled softly.

(Translations:
1: Brother Mexico, do you need anything, you are hurt.
2: Don't worry Texas. Its nothing. Go with the others.
3: Alright. If you need anything....
4: Forgive me, Diego, I wrongly blamed you all these years.)[/ul]