Not a Very Merry Christmas [Austria]

[Austria]

Austria hated Christmas.

All of the necessary preparations: gifts to buy, cakes and pastries to make, trees to put up... all of them grated on his nerves. The holiday hustle and bustle, needless to say, always left him feeling stressed rather than festive.

Christmas had stopped being a celebration for him a long time ago. He felt like there was no more cause for celebrating it, and he always went on to decorate his house and give out gifts and put a tree up simply because it had become a custom, an obligation. He was only doing everything now for the sake of formalities.

And now, again, with Christmas coming in four days... he looked at his checklist with a stoic face. The tree, check. Cookies, check. Gifts, check. At least everything was done on time.

And there was nothing left to do but wait.

In all honesty, he never did get it. Why are some days more special than others? The sun rises and sets the same way it does. It still runs for twenty-four hours, same as any other day. The earth still spins around on its own axis and around the sun in the same way. Night still comes after the day is done.

So, what exactly is the difference between today and Saturday? The date. But in his mind, he never did see any significance in that. So it's the 25th. So it's the birth of Jesus. Don't get him wrong, he respects that it's the birthday of his Lord, to whom he is devoted to as he is a very strict Catholic. But still... he just doesn't see the significance of preparing so many things months in advance just for one day to come and pass like any other day.

And he never really did celebrate anything either, not even his birthday. To him, it was just the day he was born, to suffer endlessly in this earth without even the hope of liberation by death. In fact, he always told himself that if there was one thing that he will celebrate, it will probably be the day he dies.

He hasn't always been like this. When he was a carefree, happy child still living with his best friend Swiss, he loved celebrations. He would always dance, and laugh, and sing, and eat until he couldn't anymore.

But... those things change with adulthood, he reasons. The course of history has hardened him, to the point that he never really sees anything as a cause for celebration anymore. There's just no point in preparing all of these things just for the passing of one day that is like any other. Besides... Christmas day has never held a positive feeling for him. He never did anything... commendable on Christmas day, and to be quite honest... Christmas is one day he would rather he never celebrated, for many reasons.

Though of course, since everyone else celebrates Christmas, he thought it would be rude if he didn't at least join in. But he knew he wasn't going to take in the festive feeling. That day held far too many pains for him. As he stared at the Christmas tree set up before him, and all the worthless colorful banners and decorations all around the house, the sight of it left him feeling... melancholic, and regretful, rather than elated and happy.

And so, with a heavy sigh, he trudged back to his piano to try and calm himself down. Music has always been an outlet for him, and it is probably going to be the only thing that will ever stay the same.